Author Lacy Crawford Looks Back At Her Sexual Assault In New Memoir That, to me, tells me that the conversations that I think institutions need to be having are actually possible because if a man in this instance is willing to write to me and claim his friends, I think the kind of evolution that I'm seeing in people's willingness to be thoughtful, to reach out is, to me, at least new. NPR's Scott Detrow speaks with author Lacy Crawford about her new memoir, Notes on a Silencing, about her sexual assault at an elite boarding school in Concord, New Hampshire. Lizzie Crocker Updated Jul. So yes, I was deeply involved. It’s awful and terrifying. CRAWFORD: Had they been aware of the things that I know now, I have no doubt they would've made different choices. (SOUNDBITE OF THE CINEMATIC ORCHESTRA SONG, "TO BUILD A HOME") Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR. DETROW: You write so powerfully about how, years later, it would enter your life in these really jarring ways with stray comments that people would make to you. CRAWFORD: I will be honest with you and say that represents progress. He’s written a first draft that is boring and aimless, and it’s going to cost him in the admissions process. The wealthier families and micromanaging parents really stick out in the book. Lacy Crawford served for fifteen years as a highly discreet independent college admissions counselor to the children of powerful clients in cities such as New York, Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and London. Thank you for telling your story. Have you heard from any of your peers, your classmates? DETROW: And how's a note like that make you feel? Users Report Unwanted Advances On Networking Site, The Latest COVID-19 Shortage Is Canning Lids, Rabbi Shira Stutman Remembers Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. You can figure out how to get into a school if you read this book, but I think you can also figure out how to get out of the whole craziness in the first place. Frankly, I got lucky. Sen. Cory Booker Opposes Filling Supreme Court Vacancy Before Election, 'Miami Herald' Investigating How Racist Insert Was Distributed In Paper For Months, Nation Relying On Military As Fire Rescue Resources Dwindle, Bishop Michael Curry Preaches The Power Of Love To Find 'Hope In Troubling Times', Tinder, Bumble...LinkedIn? That may be a mark of how young and naïve I was when I started. That wasn’t happening when I first started out. There were achievement tests, there were multiple essays. LACY CRAWFORD: Anne doesn’t encourage Hunter to write as though he’s sending an email to his girlfriend because she wants a flirtatious tone in his college essay. No one bothered to tell you. I just wanted to be an ordinary teenage girl. I didn’t have a degree in education or counseling or anything, but I had grown up an overachiever in a family and a community that put a lot of pressure on the same type of thing. We admire her courage and respect her voice. One of them is the fact that you contracted an STD from the assault. They silenced me once when I was 15, 16 years old, and they weren't going to get away with it again. Some of it is the common application—the fact that it’s easier to send an application to a school than it was when I was applying 20 years ago or more. Those students go on to become luminaries - judges, authors, even secretaries of state. I think this happens everywhere all the time. Lacy Crawford served for fifteen years as a highly discreet independent college admissions counselor to the children of powerful clients in cities such as New York, Chicago, Denver, San Francisco, Los Angeles, and London. A quick heads-up - this next conversation has some content that some listeners will find difficult to hear. It’s a last hurrah for a parent—the last thing they feel they can mastermind before they lose their child to independence. The gift that I could give to these students who had terrible writer’s block was telling them: “We need 11 essays and we’re going to do 10 drafts of each of them. The book tells the story of Anne, a 27-year-old application guru who coaches five high school seniors through the harrowing application process. DETROW: There's been an excerpt in Vanity Fair. And I do know that the school chose to tell other students that I was unwell before I myself knew, such that when I returned to campus, everybody already knew that I was ill. They were my friends. There were billionaires who flew me all over the place. Lacy Crawford, the author drew from her experience as a college admissions counselor to give us a view of the upper mclass and upper middle class vie for a place at an Ivy League college for their child. 11, 2017 8:44PM ET / Published Aug. 24, 2013 4:45AM ET But nobody knew why or what had happened to me. When did you begin to dance, and how soon did you know that you wanted to pursue dance professionally? Fishpond Australia, Early Decision: Based on a True Frenzy by LacyCrawfordBuy . We're having this conversation now. Growing up in Seattle, Crawford played for Rainier Beach High, a school that has produced a number of other NBA and college players such as Doug Christie, Nate Robinson, Terrence Williams, Kevin Porter Jr., and Dejounte Murray.Jamal led the Vikings to capture the 1998 Washington Interscholastic Activities Association (WIAA) State Championship. A 14-year-old Lacy Crawford, just before beginning her time at St. Paul’s School in New Hampshire. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted … My fantasy is that it will be empowering—as much as I think “empower” is a terrible word. I wouldn’t reach out to the people whose stories are directly told, but I’m not sure they would recognize themselves. And this probably is not uncommon for survivors. I’m not your English teacher. Why that decision to, after all of that - you know what, I'm going to talk about this? I had to see a specialist. It seems logistically challenging but not yet philosophically challenging. There's been a profile in The New York Times. At this point in the summer, most high school juniors are already acquainted with the horrible agony that is the college admissions process. But it's also where author Lacy Crawford was sexually assaulted by two fellow students one night in October 1990. It makes me emotional to say that. Booklist. And when I found out it wasn't going to be, I truly didn't feel I had a choice any longer. I think they allowed me my agency in that, and I'm grateful to them for that. Drawing on her 15 years of experience counseling high school students with their college applications, she satirizes one six-month push for five high school seniors. It’s not terribly dissimilar to journalism. It serves as a pipeline to some of the best colleges and universities - Princeton, Harvard, Stanford, to name a few. And I was confident that that document and others would be included in the state's investigation into the school. They go on to say, the way forward includes acknowledging and reckoning with our past in which there have been known and as yet unknown experiences of suffering and abuse. Are you anxious about people contacting you once the book comes out? DETROW: Lacy Crawford is the author of "Notes On A Silencing.". I wanted to help shift the frame a little bit away from their parents and under them so they could take control of the process. Cindy Crawford, her husband and their two children. I started when I was three. Suddenly Harvard can brag about its 5.6 percent—or whatever it is—acceptance rate and parents get hysterical. Also, moving around as much as I did when I was younger inspired me to create my own path and solid day-to-day life. So obviously, that was a very difficult decision, and it's not a decision that I ever would've come to had I not participated in the New Hampshire state investigation into St. Paul's School that began in 2017. How Severe Is Your State's Coronavirus Outbreak? Other places are covering this book. I know some parents got their hands on early copies of the book. She documents that assault at the school and its long aftermath in her new … DETROW: You know, at the beginning of the book, you wrestle with what words to use to describe what happened - sexual assault, aggravated assault, sexual misconduct, rape. You were so entrenched in these kids’ lives—more life coach than college essay counselor. I felt like I could relate to the experiences these kids were having. Former private college counselor Lacy Crawford, author of ‘Early Decision,’ breaks down the craziness… The Daily Beast. We are the better for those brave voices bringing their experiences forward, and we are committed to hearing and responding to their demand for recognition, accountability and change. And that’s just the parents. ‘Early Decision’ author Lacy Crawford breaks down the college admissions craziness for Lizzie Crocker. Not only did this intimate investigative memoir usher in a media storm of coverage, but it also prompted the elite St. Paul's School to issue a formal apology to the author, Lacy Crawford, for its handling of her report of sexual assault by two fellow students nearly thirty years ago. By the time I finished doing this it had become a flat-out race. Everyone wants to stand out and everyone wants to have a yes in their pocket going into the regular season. By Andrea Bent. I am hopeful that Kathy Giles, the current rector, will be able to, first, oversee the reckoning that has to happen. When did you decide to chronicle this part of your life? How did you finally settle on the language you wanted to use? The son of Cindy Crawford and husband Rande Gerber celebrated his high school graduation. CRAWFORD: That, to me, is astonishing. What did you learn as a writer from your work with these kids? I am ashamed. I have heard from St. Paul's schoolmates who say, I know who did this to you. I'm going to make it public. And it’s gotten awfully complex. I have students who are applying to six or seven places early action. The only way to speak to that kind of gossip was to tell what had happened to me, and I really didn't want to. It's the sweetest time to give. Have any former students or parents contacted you recently? 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